fight for your happiness

There is nothing sexier than confidence.

fartwithheadphoneson:

songofhealing:

But what if I don’t have even the slightest shred of confidence?

What then.

I couldn’t not respond to this, because it is a fantastic question.

I think one of the most frustrating things is being told how to BE, but not how to BECOME.

Be confident! Love yourself! Just do that!

The reason that is frustrating is because it implies that this is how you should be already and that here is something wrong with you if you aren’t. At least, that’s how an unconfident person will hear it, and that’s why advice giving can be very damaging if not done correctly. People take things how they want to if you leave them room to doubt. People twist my words of positivity into something ugly on at least a weekly basis, and I’m always astounded by it, though I shouldn’t be.

More to the point, confidence is certainly not something you are born with. You are totally normal. Confidence is something to attain in life. It’s a process. I’d say it comes with age, but that’s not strictly true. If you really break it down, confidence comes from having to face something difficult and getting through it. Learning from the experience. This is why confidence is found in greater amounts in older people, because they’ve been through a lot AND have learned from it. That doesn’t mean that someone young can’t gain confidence as well. We’re all dealt a different hand and we each have a totally unique experience.

The best advice I can give for how to gain confidence is this: DO things that you can be proud of. This includes creating something, learning new hobbies, helping others, doing well in school… hell, it could mean beating a video game if that’s something important to you! All if these accomplishments, big or small, add to your overall confidence.

Example: back when I was auditioning for commercials and TV, I went to an audition for a Wendy’s commercial. The casting director was NOT nice, and the lines we had to read were written in chicken scratch. I lost my place immediately and fumbled through terribly. It was awful. Ugh, can’t even think about it. I got home feeling like shit and decided I needed to do something to make myself feel better. So, I filmed and cut this video - I worked for 14 hours straight, relishing every second and feeling it wash away the bad feelings from the audition.

Not only did I feel amazing by the end of it, but it spawned a whole new series of videos I’d go on to make, leading to a lot of great opportunities.
Now, I realize that not everyone can make a video like this. I’m now 26 years old, I have my own apartment, my own business and 2 dogs. Please NEVER assume I’m telling you you should be as far along in life as I am, ok? We got that, people? I only use myself as an example because I grew up RIDDLED with insecurity. I was bullied. I had no real friends for the longest time. What I found was that I was so wrapped up in what other people were doing and trying to be like them, that I forgot to be me. I didn’t know who ME was. I didn’t find the strength to figure that out until after college! I think if someone had talked to me about how to gain confidence when I was young, it would have happened faster.
It is perfectly normal to feel inadequate. Everyone does! A great way to move through it is to put your energy into something you can be proud of. Again, it doesn’t have to be a video, it could be absolutely anything. Maybe you start volunteering for a charity. Maybe you start making bracelets or buttons to sell to friends. Maybe you buy some big blank canvas and paint a masterpiece (or not ;P)

It doesn’t matter. Just know that when people talk about confidence, they are taking about a concept that comes with EXPERIENCE. Go have some experience, do stuff that makes you happy and fuck all the haters. Confidence IS attractive, that’s why the haters hate. When you start doing any of this stuff I’m suggesting, haters will come around, but they’re just jealous of your apparent CONFIDENCE… and that just means you’re doing it right <3

Best.Comment.Ever.